My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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