Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
