I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
