when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
