didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
