I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My pussy is not your playground.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
