Is it normal to miss your booty call?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
