I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
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Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
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Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just had sex on a roof
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