Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
