super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
