Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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