She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
