got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize