So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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