i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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