Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize