What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dignity is for republicans.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
