im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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