Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Houston, we have a squirter
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
