His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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