wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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