isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
