she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed