it's like iHOP with fire
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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