Do you still have your period?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
