last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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