This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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