I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
