is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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