So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
