Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
