grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Come on in and take your pants off
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