I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
