Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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