My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
