Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Randomize