chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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