32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
