Got a toothbrush?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
