You made me cry and you don't even care
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
