theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He better not be in your backpack
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
