Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
