can u get pink eye on your cock?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
