Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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