So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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