I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
