I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
