On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
