Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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