im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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