My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
