We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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