that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
