Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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