Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
worst night to have a conscience
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
