I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
