i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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