I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
