So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize