sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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