You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Don't EVER smell your tampon
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
