i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
